The trials have been long and painful, the most painful of my life for ten years plus! I never would have made had it without God. I write this to honor Him. He has refined me through these trials and has enabled me to rest on His LAP (love, approval and provision).

For God so loved me and the world, that He chose for His son to rescue me/us from never knowing Him as our true Father, but instead that we might have relationship with Him and experience abundant love. (my paraphrase of John 3:16)

He rescued me from only hearing the voice of my "stepfather" ~ the enemy and the father of lies. The "stepfather" tells me I am of no value, something is wrong with me, I have to do everything right, I have to protect myself and my family, I am not good enough, it is my fault when others are aggressive towards me, and on and on and on....

But I get to take my thoughts captive to what God says about me ~

I am loved
I am wanted
I am chosen
I am accepted
God sees me like He sees Jesus, His son, because my life is hidden in Him (and thus)
I am beautiful
I am His beloved daughter with whom He is well pleased
God wants to be my Father
God wants me to rest on his LAP
He does not want me to live in "toxic shame"
I am not responsible for other people's bad behavior
He wants me to live in freedom and joy...His joy
He endured "toxic shame" for me so that together with Him I can have joy...He is my JOY!!!
I am wanted...He gave Himself for me, He gave Himself for me, He gave Himself for me

Oh God, THANK YOU for rescuing me from the voice of the "stepfather"!! Help me moment by moment to discern when he is trying to steal my freedom, joy , peace and abundant life and the truth, which is .... I am loved and wanted by you. Help me to see when he is trying to prevent me form resting on your LAP!!!

(This song by Marvin Snap "Never Would Have Made It" , is my song too.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JXFg5KEoXg)